Red vs Blue: The Renegade Kings
by X Prodigy
Summary: The explosion on Sidewinder didn't send the Reds and Blues into the future, instead it scattered them across alternate universes, taking the places of the heroes of that reality; can they learn to come to terms with their new powers and responsibilites?
1. Across The Universe

Red vs Blue: The Renegade Kings

Across The Universe

"HAHAHAHA! You fools have fallen right into my hands! Only now do you realise the folly of your follies! Prepare for an oblivion, for which there is no preparation! HAHAHA!"

The soldier was dressed in light purple armour, standing atop one of the many icy cliffs of Sidewinder. If hadn't guessed form the insane laughter and overuse of evil terms – this guy was a psychopath.

O'Malley knew his plan was perfect, flawless in fact; the only obstacle that he; the twisted A.I, had to overcome was the group of united idiots below him, it was going to be a walk in a park.

"O'Malley! The Reds and Blues are working together now! You can't hope to beat us!" the maroon coloured soldier by the name of Simons declared.

It had been a struggle, since each hated each others gut, but the residents of Blood Gulch had put aside their differences and planned on blowing the insane A.I to dust, no sweat.

"HAHA! You fools! My metallic friend is the only ally I need! Lopez; activate weather control routine!" O'Malley instructed to his comrade, the Spanish Robot by the name of Lopez.

"O-Kay" he said robotically, as his body began to glow a pale blue colour, before all of a sudden lightning began to burst off of his body, a surrounding him appeared bright yellow symbols that continue to generate the power that was locked inside him.

"Are those runic symbols a sign of some ancient technology?" Simmons thought aloud.

"No, I used to draw them on my finder during stuffy hall, I always wanted to use them for something; aren't they cool" the purple soldier said, adopting a more carefree voice.

This was Doc, the soldier who was being suppressed by O'Malley's influence over his body and mind.

"Shut up!" O'Malley snapped at his other half.

"Oh Sampson's back hair! They found our secret weapon! I developed a weather controlling device, but I was missing one critical piece of technology to make it work!" the bright red soldier; Sarge, yelled out in shock.

"HAHA! Yes! And now that I've located those batteries; the universe will be MINE!" O'Malley laughed triumphantly.

* * *

"You serious? You couldn't even find batteries!" the cyan soldier, Tucker yelled out at the Red in annoyance.

"Only at Gas Stations, but they're just so darn expensive over there!" Sarge sighed in defeat.

"Hey! What's going on!" the group turned around to see a soldier in light blue armour approach them – this was Church, the other leader of the Blood Gulch group.

"Do you want the long version or the short version? Basically, you got a fifty megaton bomb in your gut-" Sarge began to explain.

"Ten sir!" Simmons objected, but no-one really paid that much attention to him anyway.

"-And Lopez is about to kill us all!" Sarge yelled out.

This day really wasn't working out for any of the guys at Blood Gulch…

"That doesn't make any sense – what's the long version?" Church asked.

"That was the long version, the short version is; we're boned!" Tucker summarised, just as a soldier dressed in orange armour, Grif joined the group after his escape with Church.

"Hey Grif, are you okay?" Simmons asked.

"I've done hard time Simmons …I'm not the man you used to know" Grif sighed, like he had just experienced a tragedy.

"Hard time? We were only separated for five hours!" Simmons objected to his statement.

"Time moves slower on the inside Simmons, it felt like seven of eight hours to me" Grif shrugged.

* * *

BOOM!

The sound of an explosion hit their eardrums as a rocket collided with the icy floor; they looked up to see O'Malley…with a rocket launcher.

"You foolish fools with never defeat me! You're far too busy being foolish! Oblivion is at hand!" he yelled as the group separated and took cover anywhere they could.

"Sarge! I have an idea, but I'm going to need you to distract him!" Simmons called over to his commander.

"Will do!" he called back, before turning around to face Grif, who was cowering under the same rock he was.

"Grif; I've never believed in you! Not even for a moment! But now is the chance for you to prove yourself to me!" he said patriotically.

"What can I do Sarge?" Grif asked, ready for anything.

"I need you to run right at O'Malley!" Sarge instructed.

"And shank him with my shin?" Grif asked.

"No, when he blows you up with the rocket, try and see if you can get you dismembered limbs of guts into the barrels of the rocket launcher!" Sarge explained.

"…You're kidding" Grif asked blankly.

"It's a remote chance I know…but it's worth a shot!" Sarge nodded his head determinedly; however Grif wasn't too fond of the idea.

"OBLVION IS AT HAND!"

Neither one had chance to put any plan into motion as they turned to see O'Malley standing right behind them with his rocket launcher aimed at them.

"Cover your ears guys, this thing is really loud!" Doc warned them, breaking away form O'Malley for a brief moment.

"This is it!" Grif wailed, expecting his impending death.

"Not so fast O'Malley! Maybe we can't stop you – but I know who can!" Simmons declared, all turned around to see a small patch of light open with the air.

"Wahoo! New level!" high pitched cheers could be heard as a group of soldiers ran out; these were the zealot soldiers, obsessed with one thing, and one thing only…

"Hey guys, do you want your flag back?" Simmons asked, they all turned to face him.

"He's the one that has it!" all eyes fell on O'Malley, who for the first time felt his plan had hit a major stumble.

"The crusade has begun! Our hour of glory is now at hand! Let all who would stand against us be washed in our divine might!"

There was the sound of thousands bullets shooting through the air as O'Malley was ambushed by the almost as psychotic soldiers swarmed around him, shooting wildly. His yells of defiance and painful shrieks could still be heard above the roar of the guns.

"Sarge, we still need to disarm Church's bomb!" Simmons yelled, running up to his commanding officer.

Unfortunately for Church, as the Red Team approached, he was struck by Lopez's bolt of lightning, causing him to yell out in pain.

"Hold on son! This will only take a second!" Sarge said as he set about getting to work.

"Don't you ever install anything above the waste!" Church yelled out in annoyance.

"Oh no! That last lightning bolt fuse the detonator! There's no way to turn this off!" Sarge shouted out in fearful realisation.

"Can't you do it manually?" Simmons asked.

"Impossible! I specifically designed it so I wouldn't be able to defuse it!" Sarge responded bitterly.

"Why?" Grif asked, just as annoyed.

"In case I fell into the wrong hands and was brainwashed to help the Blues!" Sarge explained his…unique reasoning.

"Nice thinking sir!" Simmons complimented.

"You just had to get one last ass-kiss in before we died, didn't you?" Grif snarled at his fellow soldier.

"Church…there's only one thing I can do" everyone turned to see Tucker holding up the rocket launcher – aimed directly at Church.

"Hey! What the hell!" the light blue soldier spluttered out.

"There's only twenty seconds left!" Simmons warned.

"If I blow you up before the bomb goes off, there's a least a small chance that the rest of us will live" Tucker explained.

"But the rocket will kill me!" Church yelled back, not very eager to be blown up by any means.

"Ten seconds left!" Simmons warned yet again.

"You're going to die anyway when the bomb goes off!" Grif argued, not wanting to die himself.

"What can I tell you pal; misery loves company" Church reasoned.

"Five seconds left!" Simmons warned for a third time.

"Sorry Church" Tucker sighed, preparing to fire.

"Man this blows! You guys suck!" Church insulted.

BANG!

With a single bullet, the rocket launcher was knocked out of Tucker hands, all looked up to see a soldier in white armour with a sniper rifle at the ready – this was Wyoming, who had been assigned to kill Tucker.

"Sorry Private Tucker – I always get my mark! Say goodbye!" he snorted as he prepared dot fire again.

"Uh…guys, I hate to interrupt but…zero seconds" Simmons gulped as a loud beeping sound was heard from inside Church's armour.

"What? Oh, son of a-" Church couldn't even finish his curse before…

**KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

Now, in normal circumstances, a bomb that big would have killed everything and everyone, however…fate had a little something special in mind for all of them.

"_Perish Kakarot! With the rest of your pathetic world!"_

"_I have given you my power, the power of a Shinigami…"_

_"A sound soul, lives in a sound mind, in a sound body"_

"_I'm gonna be King Of The Pirates!"_

"_That's my nindo! My ninja way! Believe it!"_

"_It's a lovely night…makes me want to have a bite to drink"_

"_Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could bring peace to the land"_

_"You are the tenth generation boss of the most powerful Mafia family in the world, the Vongola"_

This is the time when not one, but eight universes, shall depend on the actions and consequences of the soldiers of Blood Gulch.

When the heroes of that time should vanish, only the eight soldiers shall be able to take their place as the Renegade Kings…


	2. The Whereabouts Of The Reds: Part 1

Red vs. Blue: The Renegade Kings 

The Whereabouts Of The Reds: Part 1 

"Oh…what did I drink last night…did Simmons make that Norwegian cocktail again? I told him not to add mango juice with lobster testicles!" Sarge groaned, struggling to his feet.

"Wait…ain't I supposed to be surrounded by angels and floating harps? This doesn't look like the after life that I drew in my scrapbook…"

Adjusting his vision, the Red Soldier looked around to see was in a field, a lush green valley surrounded by hundreds of brooding mountain, and aside from the odd bird cawing…there was no-one there but him.

"Oh Jeremiah's butt crack! As a sin for not killing off the Blues - the angels have sent me to the lowest level of hell!…a cartoon version of Blood Gulch! Why did I not just pay for those damn batteries! This could have all been solved by Lopez just blasting the bijesus out of those dirty Blues!" Sarge cried out.

"…On the plus side there's no Blues…or Grif…no Grif! No Grif! Maybe this is the highest level of hell, where there aren't any enemies to kill - but there's not Grif! Now I can sing old soldier tunes all day while writing the bible of this new afterlife - the legends of Sarge and how he single-handedly defeated the Blues with nothing more than a toothpick! And how the moron called Grif died very painfully by being mutilated with a rolling pin!" he yelled victoriously.

"Maybe this world won't be so bad after-" before he could finish, the sound of a killer explosion caught his ears, so much so that shook the earth.

"Great Chicago almighty! Sounds like they got World War Three going on over there!…Don't start without me!" the red soldier yelled as he sprinted across the valley.

After a half an hour of solid running he finally made it over the ridge at the end of the valley, where all the calamity was taking place, the explosions becoming more frequent and more destructive.

Sarge collapsed as he made it over the final hurdle, panting like a dog.

"Gah…wouldn't it…make…things easier…if they…just…installed some…damn escalator!" he panted, watching the battle unfold; though it wasn't the battle he was quite expecting.

Far across the battlefield was a crater, and inside was a small spherical pod, it was sealed shut much like a prison, with the sound of someone wailing inside.

The combatants weren't exactly soldiers either…in fact they were the furthest thing from soldiers he had seen. One was a large man with spiky black hair down to his back, wearing black and brown armour with wide shoulder pads that only covered his torso, over one eye he appeared to have a green monitor and around his waste…was that a tail.

The other one was the strangest thing Sarge had seen, it certainly wasn't human, it was green with pink shadings of muscles of his arms, along with two antenna sprouting from his head, he was currently panting and bleeding purple blood.

"…Either that blast sent me into the furthest parts of the cosmos, or this has to be the weirdest soldier's convention since the Swedish decided to add drag-queen day tot heir calendar!"

The man with the tail sniggered as he approached the green man, who lashed out with his arms, however the ape-man caught it and delivered a fierce uppercut followed by a kick to the stomach that sent him flying back.

"You've done well servant of Namek, but its time I ended this!" he laughed, raising his hands - swirling yellow energy forming in them.

"This doesn't look good!" Sarge gulped.

"Keep your eye on the birdie! DOUBLE SUNDAY!"

* * *

"Dear God…did Simmons drug me again? I swear if he's nailed my underwear to the Warthog again I'll-" the orange soldier cursed under his breath, but that's when he looked around him, he was no longer in Blood Gulch or Sidewinder, but in a deep and dark forest under the glare of the moon.

"…Where the fuck am I?" he thought aloud.

Taking a few minutes to recalibrate everything he could remember, a huge smile came across his face, only one thought in his head.

"I'm not dead! But most importantly - I'm not in Blood Gulch! YES!!" he pumped a fist in the air and cheered.

"I'm finally out of that godforsaken canyon! No more fighting! No more Blues! No more Sarge! No more Simmons! I don't care if I'm in a forest in the middle of nowhere! Compared to that hell - this will be a breeze!" he said.

Before he walked off, something caught his eye, he turned around to see what appeared to be a metre long wrap of paper with Japanese symbols on it.

"Whoa! That's the biggest joint I've ever seen! I hope still got some weed packed under my suit, had to clear it out after Donut insisted on spring cleaning everyone" he thought.

Picking it up, with great difficulty, the strap on the front broke off and the paper unravelled, revealing many symbols and icons that Grif knew nothing about.

"What the hell? Looks like some of that crap Donut used to call art and stick all over the doors of the base…and its in Chinese? Ah well, as long as I can smoke it I don't think it will matter"

As Grif tried to find his stash, he became aware of a strange whooshing sound that was coursing through the air, and it seemed to be getting louder.

"What the hell is that sound?"

SHING!!

Grif's shoulder was pieced as what appeared to be a giant shuriken, that flew through the air and indented itself within a tree. A drop of his blood falling on the scroll.

"Ah! Son of a bitch!" Grif cursed as he grabbed his bleeding arm, looking back to where the projectile came from, he ended up meeting the eyes of a man wearing the strangest outfit he had ever seen. He was dressed in a dark green jacket with blue under-gear, he wore a black cap with a bandana with a metal plate at the front.

"I haven't seen you before - I guess you must be from a far-off village by the style of your outfit" the man snarled, taking out another giant shuriken from his back.

"Who the hell are you?!" Grif yelled out, still in shock from the attack.

"The name's Mizuki; Jounin of Konoha, now hand over the Forbidden Scroll, and I'll make sure your death is as painless as possible!" he warned, swinging the shuriken through the air.

"…I changed my mind, I want to geo to back to Blood Gulch" he wailed as he tried to outrun the weapon, as he ducked however, the blunt side of the blade hit the side of his neck and sent him tumbling into the roots of the trees.

Shakily, he tired to stand up, but noticed something odd about his armour.

"…How the hell did I get a tattoo on my stomach?"


	3. The Whereabouts Of The Reds: Part 2

Red vs. Blue: The Renegade Kings 

The Whereabouts Of The Reds: Part 2 

"Oh god…what the hell?" Simmons blearily opened his eyes to find that it was brighter with them closed. He was concealed in absolute darkness, the stench of rust and decay was around him, his armour was awash with dust, he felt old and dirty.

"What a crazy dream…I got to make sure not to smoke anything Grif gives me from now on…" he groaned, trying to stand up.

He couldn't.

"I must be more tired than I thought" Simmons thought to himself, this time using all his weight to push himself forward, he managed to move a inch before thrown back against what appeared to be a cold stone wall, the sound of metal lightly clashing was heard.

It was when his eyes fully adjusted to the darkness did he fully realise that he was up against a large wall, and both his arms and legs were chained up.

"Oh god! Its finally happened! The nightmare scenario! Donut lost his mind and took me prisoner! That's why I'm strung up like a hooker!" Simmons began to scream as he frantically tried to break away from the chains.

"Oh sweet angel in heaven that I probably don't believe in! Someone get me out of here!" He pleaded.

There was a scream, and he instantly shut his mouth.

Footsteps hitting the cold ground were approaching, the sound of hot breath exhaling, the smell of sweat and panic and smoke, followed in succession by a stampede of heavier footsteps, quickly approaching the lighter ones.

Someone was being chased, and they were heading straight towards him.

"Uh…hello?" Simmons lightly called out.

There was a burst of light, mostly made by dodgy light bulbs that lit the tunnel towards his little holding pen, , but it still was enough for make Simmons's eyes feel like they were on fire. He threw his body back against the wall, desperately trying to hide and remaining safe in the shadows.

He opened on eye, to see the most unlikely sigh ever.

There was a girl, probably ten years in age, tanned skin, messy blonde hair with big spectacles, she was out of breath from opening to two doors, she looked around frantically, fear in her eyes.

"A little girl?…What's going on here?" he asked.

"Integra" a deep and rough voice made the girl turn around in despair, but not before the sound of a gunshot, and blood erupting form her shoulder, the bullet hitting its mark.

"Holy shit!" Simmons gaped.

"What's the matter Integra, not happy to see your dear old uncle? I can't tell you how disappointed I am that my bastard brother made you the heir to the Hellsing organisation on his deathbed! That fortune is mine! And your not going to take it away from me!" a man in an expensive suit entered, holding his handgun right to the girl's head.

"And with you out of the way, all that wealth and power will be mine!"

"Oh hell, he's going to kill her! If I could just reach my goddamn gun!" he cursed, but the chains held it in place.

Before he could struggle more, the sweetest scent caught his attention, he turned to the growing puddle of blood on the cold ground, and for some reason it looked like the most delicious delicacy he had ever laid eyes on.

Bending down so his head was by the floor, his now slightly inhuman tongue lashed out form underneath his helmet and began to dink up every drop for blood, thoroughly enjoying it.

"The blood…it feels so…GOOD!!" Simmons roared like a wild animal, the chains snapped like twigs, and without hesitation he leapt out at the man and his entourage, who could only look on in fear as a monster swooped down and tore them apart.

Biting flesh, breaking necks, piercing hearts, it felt like second nature to him, and within a few minutes he had butchered the lot of them, and was now on his knees before the little girl, whose fascination was only matched by her horror at the sight of him.

"Who…who are you?" she whispered.

"…My leader…my sergeant…he called me…Simmons…"

* * *

"Brrrr! Who left the fridge open!" Donut shivered.

"Oh man…what a crazy night I had! I can't wait to tell Sarge about it! About how I heroically defeated a guy named O'Malley while stuck on an ice planet, Simmons and Grif were so grateful! Then there was a big parade and a marriage and another marriage and at night we had-"

Before he could continue with his own revelling tale, Donut noticed the intense light surrounding him, slightly opening his eyes, he noticed that not only was he surrounded by a lot of ice, he couldn't move and his forehead was currently glowing.

"Um…did I make dinner again last night? I haven't seen hallucinations this strong since I made my special what-the-hell-is-moving-oh-my-god-Simmons-get-the-plunger-soup"

The ice surrounding him was incredibly thick, he could barley move a muscle, and after much deliberating Donut came to a starling conclusion.

"I must have evolved into a humanoid polar bear! Now I'm hibernating and getting ready to find a suitable mate! Oh boy! Life is going to be good-"

CRACK!

"Huh? Who dares interrupt the polar bear king!"

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

Very soon all the ice surrounding him broke apart, and fell into the freezing water below. After splashing around like a maniac Donut found himself being pulled onto the cold ground layered with now, and was currently looking at two bizarre figures.

"Are you okay?" one asked, a girl with dark skin and dark eyes wearing a large blue Eskimo coat.

"Stay back Katara! We don't know what it is!" another asked, a boy this time, though Donut could have sworn it was the exact same girl only with a deeper voice.

"Come on Sokka, its our duty to help it, besides it looks normal" the girl called Katara snapped back.

"Its pink! How many people are pink and have heads shaped like that! If you hadn't noticed he was in an iceberg!" Sokka burst out.

"An iceberg? Oh that explains why I couldn't feel anything below my crotch!" Donut thought aloud.

"IT SPOKE!" Sokka yelled, taking out what appeared to be a boomerang.

"Relax Sokka!" Katara glared at her brother before going down on one knee and looking at Donut as if he were an alien.

"Hi. My name is Katara, that's my twin, Sokka…do you understand me?" she asked.

"Um, yeah I think I do, though it would be nice to know why I was in an iceberg, am I still on Sidewinder?" Donut asked.

"See, he is a person" Katara smiled.

"A really deformed one at that" Sokka snorted.

"Hey! Don't tell me you have something against people in light red armour!" Donut yelled back.

"Armour?" both twins asked in confusion.

"Are you guys native to Sidewinder? Or did I just get sent to Poland?" Donut asked.

"Side-what-now?" Sokka asked.

"We're members of the Southern Water Tribe, but you don't look anyone from any nation I've ever heard of, where are you from?" Katara asked.

"I guess the explosion sent me a little further form Blood Gulch than I thought…" Donut thought to himself.

"GRRRRRRRR!" everyone turned around to the iceberg, which seemed to break apart even more, before bursting open as a large furred beast groaned and jumped into the water.

"What is that!" Sokka took out his boomerang in defence.

It was big, very pig, it look like an ox but had several legs, short horns, long white fur and a large pink arrow tattooed on its forehead, it gave a groan before wading out to the snowy shore.

"Oh my god…I HAVE A DOG!!" Donut yelled out in delight.


	4. The Whereabouts Of The Blues: Part 1

Red vs. Blue: The Renegade Kings

The Whereabouts Of The Blues: Part One

"Oh…what the? What did I drink last night?" Church slowly rose to his feet, his head felt like it was splitting and his legs felt like they would give out at any moment.

Overall, he felt like shit.

"…I swear if Caboose spiked my vodka again I'll rip his-" as his senses returned to him, Church was greeted by an intense feeling of pain at the back of his mind, as the memories came flooding back.

"O'Malley!" he swerved, desperately looking for the purple clad menace that had nearly taken him out with a freaking rocket launcher, but wherever he turned his gaze, he was greeted by the bright sunlight above and clear stone paths surrounded by high white walls.

"…This isn't Sidewinder" he gulped, looking around him.

Wherever he was, it defiantly wasn't the frozen planet where both the Blues and the Reds had chased the twisted A.I, in fact it looked very similar to Earth…if not very Japanese. Church was hit by a wave of confusion; how the hell did he end up here? In fact, where the hell was here?

"Okay, don't panic! Retrace your steps…you were looking for O'Malley…you ended up in prison with Grif…you got hit by a lightning bolt…and then…" Church felt a cold wave of realisation slap him in the face.

"And then I got blown to fucking Kingdom Come! Because of that goddamn Red!" Church shouted out in bitter rage, he needed something to shoot something - but Caboose wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Wait…if I got blown up, shouldn't everyone be dead? Shouldn't I be dead?" but here he was, perfectly fine if not a bit dazed, but he was still breathing, even his armour was still in tact.

And that's when he inspected himself to find he had picked up a little souvenir from the his little brush with death.

"…What the hell am I wearing…?"

He was still wearing his old armour, actually the armour looked very different, like it had been upgraded; whatever it was, it was more shiny and wasn't his regular Mark V armour. But that was all fine and dandy, he could live with a sudden upgrade in shininess, but the fact was that over his new armour was a long black rove with white silk belt.

"Um…why am I dressed in some kind of samurai's dressing gown?"

**CRRRAACKK!**

The sound of an explosion with glass mixing caught his attention, and as he looked up, he saw what appeared to be a ball of fire break though…the sky? He only saw the sky, but around it, piece of glass-like materials began to shatter.

The impact lasted a few seconds, before the noise died and so did the fire, what remained however were roughly four shadowed figures sent falling from impossible heights.

"What the hell is going on?" Church thought aloud.

Acting on instinct, he began to jog, which quickly broke into a sprint towards the sight, which ended him running through a labyrinth of the same walls.

"What is with all these freaking walls? This place is a maze!" he growled, looking to the sky to try and get a clearer picture of what just occurred.

And that's when he saw her…

Long flowing red hair, pale skin, a small frame, delicately falling from the heights to the ground at colossal speeds. Church was stunned for a second, because in that brief second, he could only think of one thing…

"Tex…?"

Wasting no more time, Church dashed as fast as he could, running as if his life depended on it as the girl fell from above. Speeding through the seemingly never ending maze, until he could see her more clearly, she only had a few more feet before her body met solid ground.

"Crap!" he cursed, dashing around a corner, leading him onto a straight path where she was in his sights, as he ran he realised that he wouldn't reach her in time.

So without thinking…he leapt.

Church wasn't sure wasn't thinking, but it worked, for as he feet left ground, he was surged through the air, and caught the girl just as her body was about the crash and break on the ground below.

"Gotcha!"

His personal achievement was short lived, as his sudden landing caught him off guard, and sent the two skidding onto the ground until they finally came to a sudden stop. Church opened his eyes, to see she was beneath him, their bodies laying ontop of each other.

A part of him gave into disappointment and sadness, it wasn't Tex, he knew her face all to well. Another part of him though felt his breath stolen away.

She was much younger than him, late teens perhaps, but it was her face that made his mind go blank - she was beautiful, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life; long flowing red hair, pale skin that warmly reflected the sun.

And that was when her eyes opened, and his heart practically stopped.

"Are…you an angel?" her voice was high and sweet, it reminded him of Christmas mixed into Summer…not sure why but it just did.

After what seemed lie a very long minute, Church released his weight and helped her to her feet, which proved to be a mistake, when he noticed that her anatomy was far advanced for a girl her age, which he found out the hard way when he saw her chest, and its size.

"JESUS CHRIST!" he yelled a little too loudly.

"Don't get a nosebleed! Don't do a Tucker! Don't think perverted thoughts!" he thought to himself.

The girl regained her composure as she struggled to stand, the force of impact had taken the wind out of her. She then looked over to her rescuer, and she had to admit she was the strangest man ever.

"Um…are you…a Shinigami?" she asked.

"…What?" he asked.

"Are you a Shinigami? Are you guarding Rukia Kuchiki…?" she asked, slowly raising her hair to her hair, towards a flower pattered hairclip.

"Huh? Look I don't know what you're talking about! I just woke up here after been blown up from-" he stopped himself when he realised he was yelling, the girl was fearful, but looked like she was willing to fight.

"Um…look, I'm not your enemy kid, I don't know who you are or who your talking about"

That made her relax her little as she lowered her hands and breathed a sigh of relief, she then returned with a smile before slowly studying the area from where she landed.

"I haven't got much time…I have to find Rukia" she said before turning around and starting to run.

"Wha? Hey! Wait up!" Church yelled as he grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"Look, um…what's your name?" he asked.

"Orihime Inoue, nice to meet you Mr Non-Shinigami" she smiled sweetly.

"So cute…I mean! Um…do you know where I am?" he asked.

"Huh? You really must be lost, we're in the Soul Society" Orihime responded.

"…Say what? Where the hell is that?" Church asked.

"You know, the world of the Death Gods, the afterlife, heaven, the place you go after you die" she explained.

Church went completely still, like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over his head and then kicked him in the nuts really hard.

"Are you okay?" Orihime asked. Church couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Shit…I really am dead aren't I?"

* * *

Tucker gave a yawn as he woke up, after having been to many clubs back on Earth, he was used to waking up with a headache the size of Everest.

"Whoa…must have been some party, did I get lucky?" he asked himself, slowly opening his eyes.

And that's when he heard the sound of warning bells and screams…

"Holy crap!" he yelled as the sound cared him out of his armour., and that's when he became aware of where he was. Well, not exactly, all he knew was that he was...

"…I'm on an island…in the middle of the sea…surrounded by…" looking up, he saw a really, really big ship, the mast having the appearance of some kind of sheep/goat, with a black flag having the symbol of a skull and crossbones.

"Oh…shitcakes..." he gulped.

"Please tell me I just took some really strong drugs" he thought aloud.

"The Arlong Pirates are heading towards Cocoyashi Village! Everybody get inside your houses!" a ransom villager yelled.

More screams followed, the sounds of far-off villagers running inside and slamming their doors in.

"…Yep, I'm defiantly on drugs"

And that was when he noticed his armour, now he may have been concerned that it had suddenly been completely upgraded form his regular Mark V armour, or that he was on the outskirts of what sounded like a battle ground, or that he was stuck in a war between pirates and marines…but no, it was something far more disturbing.

"Since when have I had a straw hat…?"

"The Fishmen are in the market place!" another villager yelled out.

"...Hmm..." Tucker thought to himself, placing the hat on top of his helmet, which may of looked silly, but strangely felt right.

"Well, might as well and go and see what all the fuss is about"


	5. The Whereabouts Of The Blues: Part 2

Red vs Blue: The Renegade Kings 

The Whereabouts of the Blues: Part 2 

"Oh my aching head…Church, Church, my head hurts – make it go away" Caboose moaned as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

A wave of coldness instantly hit the blue soldier; the only difference was that it wasn't caused by the snow of Sidewinder, and instead by the pouring rain that was battering away at his armor.

The grit from the floor below him, the gray clouds that covered the stars above, and the rain that washed against the apartment complexes around him.

Even for someone of Caboose' intelligence, he knew that he wasn't on the freezing ice planet that he had been on a couple of seconds ago.

In fact…it looked a lot like a typical scene you would look at if you were still on Earth.

"…Did I fall from space?" the blue soldier asked himself as he tried to get up, but found that the pain coursing through his body had all but killed off all feeling below his neck.

"Where am I? Church? Church? Can you hear me? I am lying in the middle of a road! If you look really hard through a telescope, then you can see my little finger moving slightly! Help me!" the soldier called out, but his voice was drowned out by the rain from above.

"Oh darn…" he moaned as is head fell back against the road beneath him, letting the storm cover him. He had no idea of what had happened, but it had left him isolated.

He was alone, away from Church, away from the Blues and away from Blood Gulch.

"I'm lost…no one will find me" the soldier choked on his own words. He left like a lost puppy that had been blown through space due to his best friend exploding…

The gray suddenly turned to black. Caboose turned his head to his right to see a very peculiar figure looking over him. He was incredibly small, a quarter the size of him, and was dressed in entirely in black.

The figure that looked no older than a child stood in silence as he held the umbrella over Caboose's body.

"Who are you? Are you a friend of Church?" he asked.

He couldn't say for sure, but he was sure the figure was smiling.

"There's no mistaking it. Looks like the Ninth was right, I haven't seen such powerful dying will since the First" he spoke out.

Of course Caboose couldn't understand a word he was saying, as he was speaking in Italian.

"It's going to take a while, but I promise I'll turn you into the next Vongola Boss in under two years" he spoke out.

He then looked directly into Caboose's visor, that same smirk plastered across his face. He then changed his language to English, and fluently spoke.

"I am the Home Tutor Hitman, Reborn"

* * *

Tex was used to pain and waking up in strange situations, dating Church was proof of that.

But when she woke up in the middle of an alleyway, with a moon so bright that it was nearly blinding, she knew this time it was a on a whole new scale.

"Where the hell am I?" she thought as she stood up, gritting her teeth as he ones cracked, still sore from the impact of the fall.

What had happened? The last thing she remembered was hijacking a new body from the Reds. She had then proceeded to kick the crap out of the pink-armoured bitch (which turned out to be a guy) that had previous killed her for information.

Between his screams, he told her that the Reds and Blues had formed a temporary alliance and had gone after O'Malley through the teleporter. She was seconds' away form going in after them, but that that wave of light hit her and knocked her uncoinscious.

The next thing she knew – she was in the middle of what looked like a city in the dead of night.

"This isn't Blood Gulch"

Indeed, in fact, everywhere she looked held signs saying "Death City", which wasn't the most comforting feeling. Regardless, she knew that if there was the slightest chance that O'Malley was around – then she had to find him.

"I'll those idiots later" he thought aloud. Grabbing her thankfully undamaged pistol, she began her search.

In truth, she had grown quite attached to the Blues. Church, though an ex-lover, still made her feel a slight sense of warmth inside, which in the end she left to nostalgia. Tucker was nothing more than a self-proclaimed pimp, and his sudden desire to get with her had begun to severely get on her nerves.

Caboose…was an idiot, end of story.

She kept the information to herself, and thankfully Caboose was probably to stupid to realise it, but the fact remained that the time O'Malley had spent inside Caboose's mind would have almost certainly left an imprint of her past.

A.I were crafty little buggers, when one received an A.I that had previously been implanted within another they gained immediate knowledge of their predecessors actions, thoughts and emotions.

The thought that all of those precious secrets were swimming inside that soldier's empty head did not sit well with her.

Memories of Church, her past, the Freelancers, even the Director…

She'd have to make sure Caboose never got a hold of them, those were too precious to lose, and too dangerous for another to discover.

The sound steel clashing against one another immediately caught her attention, and she sprinted towards the sound, ready for combat.

Weaving through the dark streets, she eventually came to what appeared a long, descending road that cut right through the city. The sounds were now fiercer than ever, and the distinctive echoes of screams and war-cries could be heard.

"O'Malley…" she silently prayed to the God she didn't believe and leapt into the street.

What she saw wasn't O'Malley, but it didn't stop her from freezing in place, gun raised.

"What the hell….what is that thing?"


End file.
